best before seal

while contemplating this afternoon, i came across this one song which could somehow summarize my whole life this week..

"flames to dust
lovers to friends
why do all things come to an end..."

i know things have been topsy turvy this past few weeks but i think it is quite an injustice when the moment things are just beginning to sink in and then all of a sudden reality slaps you in the face saying,

"hoi ambisyosa, humana ang imung kaligayan oi!"

so i know my uber friends will again react to this a little emo post but i don't care. i would like give a special shoutout to maan and jeje who were there when i was trying to explain why i don't allow myself to fall in love or even to like someone that much.

remember when i said that dili ko gusto mag fall tungod kay unfair siya for my part kay dali lang ko makagusto tapos ang tao na to wala koi assurance kung gusto sad ko niya? remember when i said that ginatry nako ang akong best to become cool with things especially pag nagakantsaw mo tungod kay naay tendency na madevelop ko? remember when i said na lisod para sa akua na makaget-over sa isa ka butang? remember when i said that gina suppress nako akong self into liking someone na kantsaw-kantsaw lang tungod kay dili ko gusto mag inEMO unya dli xa worthy? remember guys?

and now here you are trying to make me happy. ofcourse i am not angry or pissed with what you are actually doing because you all want me to be happy. ofcourse i am not angry or pissed with what you are actually doing because you all want me not to be emo again. ofcourse i am not angry or pissed with what you are actually doing because you all want me to feel liked and loved even for a week and i am really thankful for that. it is highly appreciated.

however, what i am so disappointed about is that i let myself fall again without even realizing that i don't have any assurance that he might like me. i am so disappointed with myself because i let my heart believe that there might actually someone who will really like me the way i like them. most of all, i am so disappointed with myself because i let myself expect again...

and who knows when i'll get over this? NOBODY. it might take days, weeks, months or even years and i know i will be back to my old self again in a few weeks time.

so there, i said it. i fell. it hurts and it sucks big time.

please don't ask me questions.