friends "one more time"

i am taking a break from my highly academic doings and taking a step back at what reality is as of the moment.

well, i can say that i had my shortcomings these past few days - i have different priorities now, as you can see: i am extremely busy at work (extremely busy is i suppose an understatement), i have my thesis to attend to, i have a boyfriend that i need to take care of and i have somebody else who's been acting as a burden on my back these past few days. so basing from what you read above, i don't have time for myself and with myself, it means that i can't even do things that i used to do when i am still free and without attachments or commitments. but i am not complaining, i am really not - because i have chosen to do these things.

now, i am totally aware that i don't have time for my friends anymore and it really saddens me, because first of all  they are the ones who have helped me in so many ways, i can't even point out where to start. my friends are the ones who took care of me in those times where nobody even bothered to ask how i am doing. my friends are the ones who molded me as who i am today.

but i guess, i'm trying my very best to keep up right?  i go out with you to the point of even being absent to work and i also stay up as long as i could to help in fixing some issues within the circle - unlike before when i am TOTALLY INVISIBLE.

i miss you guys, i do. it's just that now, i also have other things to do and i may not be with you most of the time - my thoughts are still with you. i may not be physically there, but i care about you guys MORE THAN YOU CAN THINK OF.

ofcourse, things will never be the same as before because we can't do this until the end - i mean, WE ARE GROWING OLD. i may have realized this sooner that you guys but i still believe that being friends doesn't always mean that you have to see each other everyday, or even communicate with each other. i know that being friends is something when you are most present in times of need and takes care of the friendship inside the heart.

when we believe in our hearts that we are friends, we really are friends and nobody can break that bond. i'm pretty sure that when the time comes that you also have different priorities, you will understand what mess i am going through.

i am still here.