this little story of infidelity for 5 minutes

i just need to let this out to get this over with...

it was strange texting jerwin again. he was actually one of my suitors before and we were once an item back in highschool. we were sharing certain things and flirting a little. before bungo and i became a couple, jerwin and i had some sort of silly agreement to be textmates for a while until we get to decide if we could be together. after such, he never texted again and life moved on - i was with bungo now.

last night, jerwin and i started texting each other again and he told he changed his number. he heard that i was in a relationship already and asked why i didn't wait for him and i was shocked. i never exactly expected him to be that bold and serious about the ridiculous thing we had back then.

and then i realized something - what if i waited for jerwin a little longer? then i wouldn't have to sacrifice my friends. don't get me wrong - i love bungo so much (more than anybody else - more than myself). it's just that things could've been better. i wouldn't get guilty everytime bungo talks about what happened to me - to us before and i wouldn't feel insulted everytime he tells me that he can't trust me that much now. and then bungo would never have doubts about me and about my friends and then there would be harmony and balance.

i feel guilty now - i deleted all the messages in my cellphone last night. i think it was better - but i guess it could never work out between me and jerwin if we ended up together.

i guess all i was just wishing is for things to get better around me. it was never the same as before but i think it could be nice for everyone to be at peace - just having fun and never thinking about what will happen tomorrow....